Etiquette question: is it correct to observe a wedding anniversary if one half of the married couple is deceased? Strange query, I know, but this issue has been troubling me for a while now because, if my father were still living, today would have been my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. I did call my mother this morning to wish her “Happy Anniversary,” just so she knew I was aware that she might be reflecting on marriage memories today. She thanked me for my sentiment and did not indicate that I upset her or that she felt my comment was out of place. No. In fact, she went on to share some marriage musings with me.
It would have been nice to share this day with both my parents, although I doubt they would have had a big party. They rarely agreed on the size of celebrations, or the public nature of them. My mother, a gourmet pastry chef, is certainly capable of planning, organizing, and executing such a large event, but I guess she just isn’t that comfortable with crowds. My father, on the other hand, was a social butterfly. Being a meat cutter since age fourteen, I am sure he would have enjoyed a huge party that welcomed a flock of relatives, friends, co-workers, and customers. Either way, I know they would have had a lovely day appreciating each other and the life they had created. I only hope my marriage will last as long and be as happy.
Happy Anniversary, Mom (and Dad).
1 comment:
I was wondering of you ever received any comments regarding celebrating your parents' 50th wedding anniversary. Both of our parents have been deceased for some time. Had it not been for their untimely deaths, they too would be celebrating their 50th anniversary. We (the adult children) would like to post their wedding photo in the small hometown newspaper (everyone knew them) with a tasteful tribute to them. However, we wouldn't want to be completely out of line. I would appreciate any input.
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