A Boogle?

The other day, my daughter was exploring YouTube when she happened upon a video of ferrets performing what people refer to as the “weasel war dance.” It is a funny-looking movement/gesture that ferrets display when they are happy or excited (or so I am told). Anyway, watching the video led her to investigate a Wikipedia article about weasels, where she discovered that a group of them is called a “boogle.” So, geese travel in a gaggle, lions live in a pride, and crows traffic in murders (sounds ominous). How is it that a boogle is not a family of ghosts? Just a thought from my friend Vickie.

If you know the names of any other odd animal groupings, please let me know.

No Diapers!

Some time ago, on Nightline, the “Sign of the Times” segment profiled a support group for parents (translation: moms) who have chosen to raise their children sans diapers. News flash: this is not a new idea. My daughter is sixteen and when she was potty training (oh so many years ago), I had friends who used this method with their kids. For the most part, it works but…

- you must be at home with your child
- you must pay close attention to your child
- you must have patience with your child (an abundant supply of patience)
- you must be ok with an occasional “mess” (if you know what I mean)

I tried this method with Katherine the Great for about a week and determined that it wasn’t for me. Back then, I was much too structured for the “wait and watch” approach. It depended too much on me hovering over my daughter. I decided that if I was going to hover, I preferred to “play helicopter” about reading rather than going potty. As a result, I spent much more time curled up on the couch perusing Katy and the Big Snow by Virginia Lee Burton and Alphabeasts by Dick King-Smith, rather than running for the bathroom. To each his own, I guess.

Word Games

Much to my dismay (or is it my amusement?), I live with two rather nutty and creative people who love to play word games. I think King Richard came to enjoy these during his many hours on watch as a reactor operator in the Navy. Katherine the Great just has a fascination for Latin and all things “language.” Their latest pastime is to combine movie titles, similar to those Jeopardy categories that use the beginning of one word and the end of another. Some examples of King creativity:

Daddy Day Care Bears
Down with Love Actually
Gorillas in the Mystic Pizza
The Hunt for Red October Sky
Knight’s Tale of Two Cities
The Lake House of Sand and Fog
Lawnmower Man of La Mancha
Man in the Iron Mask of Zorro
Men in Black Rain
National Treasure Planet of the Apes
The Nightmare Before Christmas Story
Sixth Sense and Sensibility
Sleeping with the Enemy of the State
While You Were Sleeping with the Enemy
One Fine Day After Tomorrow

Not horribly intellectual, but a good mental exercise just the same. Try it and see what comes to mind.

Sign Man: Jerk Workshop

The other day, as I traveled on base to (once again) retrieve my husband from work, I saw this billboard at the gate, presumably installed by Sign Man:

Know How To Avoid
Marrying A Jerk
Workshop
Call 694-1145

King Richard has a question about this seminar: Is it open to everyone? Or is this a Navy-sanctioned course in man bashing and, consequently, for women only? My question is: does our culture ever consider women to be jerks? I must admit I rarely hear women referred to in that way. Thoughts, anyone?

A Glimpse of Sign Man

Late yesterday afternoon, as I once again drove on base to retrieve my hubby from work, I saw Sign Man changing the Subase notice board. Apparently, this mystery man had changed the sign at least once while I wasn’t looking because it no longer announced the “Dolphin Scholorships,” but a visit from a local government official. Now the sign says, “Welcome to Subase,” and it is spelled correctly. Hurrah!

Sign Man Strikes Again

This evening, when I drove onto the military base near my home to retrieve my husband from work, I encountered this sign:

Dolphin Scholorship
Charity Event
May 19
Call for Reservations

Readers may recall that this same sign sported a misspelling sometime ago. It took a few days for it to change back then. I wonder how long it will take this trip?

Embarrassed & Irritated

On Wednesday morning, I read a few posts in the blogosphere about the current visit of Queen Elizabeth II to the United States. For those of you who may be unaware, Her Majesty arrived yesterday to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the founding of Jamestown. I posted the trip itinerary here on Gooseberry Lane, mostly for the benefit of my friends in Virginia, in case they wanted to make the effort to see an actual reigning monarch. But I digress…the point of this blog entry is to register my embarrassment and irritation at the content of those aforementioned blog posts.

The first stated the following about Queen Elizabeth:

And who is this person we are getting so worked up over?

No one knows much about her, really…except that bit portrayed in The Queen…this leaves the Queen a somewhat enigmatic character whom we can color as we please. Her position and her character are merely symbolic of a nation.

[The blog author then quoted from CBS News]…She represents a kind of transcendence of the next two generations of her own family which curiously chimes in with the kind of attitude that the British have about the breakdown of their own family life. She becomes a kind of head of a dysfunctional family that is kind of enduring…

A symbol of aloofness at the breakdown of the family. What an inspiring model for the world.

No one knows much about her?! The blog author could not be farther off the mark, especially if she had done even the smallest amount of research about Her Majesty. But again, I digress…

This was the embarrassing part (although I suppose I do sound irritated about this as well): the person who posted the above statement is a homeschooler!!! Suggestion for the future: if you are going to wax ignorant, please do it where you are unidentifiable as a home educator. I am a homeschooler and I know I can speak for myself and my friend (also a home educator) whose mother is an Australian citizen, we do not appreciate being categorized as intellectually crippled or, at the very least, completely lacking in basic research skills. A SINGLE Google search for “Queen Elizabeth II” yields NO LESS than 3,400,000 hits. Don’t know much about the Queen? Please!!!

The other post that set me off was this:

…I am amazed at the fact that American citizens are so eager to abject themselves to a woman who is famous for nothing other than the fact than she is distantly genetically linked to a band of guys who beheaded people to establish their rule over the British Isles.

The blog author continued:

Okay, let’s get this straight people.
We won the Revolutionary War.
We owe no allegiance to the British Throne.
When it comes to the British Royal Family…we owe them nothing.
No respect.
Nothing.

Well, I guess those last few words demonstrate what has become, it seems to me, the completely American attitude that good manners and deportment are worthless, an attitude that I found irritating back in 1979 when Pope John Paul II visited the United States and I was chastised for showing pleasure at the fact that my Catholic friends got to see him (one even got to kiss his ring), and it is an attitude that I still find irritating today. Sometimes respect is due just simply by virtue of the office. I should respect President Bush, even if I disagree with some of his decisions, because he is the President. Likewise, I should respect the Queen because she is the Queen. Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor-Mountbatten is eighty-one years old and the sixth longest reigning monarch in history. That alone should garner respect. I have a better reason, though; if I were in her presence, I would need to show her respect because she is my elder, an elder who also happens to be the Queen of England but, nonetheless, my elder.

Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord. --- Leviticus 19:32 (NIV)

You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the Lord. --- Leviticus 19:32 (NASB)

You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one other, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. --- 1 Peter 5:5 (NASB)

Shop On The Base, Honey

This blog entry was approved by my good friend and fellow retired Navy wife, Koalagirl15, and was prompted by her most recent ordeal of being trapped in the base entry traffic just as the front gate was closed for a terrorist drill.

Being the wife of a retired Navy man, I am regularly encouraged by my husband to take maximum advantage of our military benefits, one of which is shopping at the base commissary*. Now, I don’t have anything against going on base to shop at the commissary; after all, I shopped there on a weekly basis for over fifteen years while my husband was on active duty. However, now that I am a retired Navy wife, I would much rather purchase my groceries at Big Y or Stop and Shop. Yes, I know the commissary has cheaper prices on most food and non-food items, but it really is the non-food costs that push my decision to avoid on-base shopping.

What kind of non-food costs, you ask? The kind that have to do with the valuable nature of my time as a busy homeschool mom. You see, almost without fail, if I make the decision to shop at the base commissary, the Navy makes the decision to run a force protection drill on the same day, at the same time. I decide to save a little cash; the Navy decides to simulate terrorists attacking submarines. For the non-military types who may be reading this blog entry, allow me to paint a picture of what this might look like:

It is 9:00 AM on a Wednesday. You have just dropped your four-year-old daughter at preschool and have decided to go grocery shopping while she is in class. You have two hours, just enough time to shop and head home to unload your purchases before the strictly enforced preschool pickup time expires like Cinderella’s pumpkin. You rose early in the day to prepare a shopping list so that you can move quickly through the store.

It is now 9:45 AM. All is going well (in fact, life is humming along almost too perfectly). Preschool drop-off went like clockwork; you are reaching the end of your grocery list; and the commissary actually had most of your desired items in stock, eliminating the need for additional visits to “civilian” supermarkets. You are ecstatic! You reach the checkout line in record time and begin unloading your purchases for payment when, out of the corner of your eye, you see base security pass by the front of the building. Almost immediately, the announcement is made that a base-wide drill has commenced and everyone should leave the building. You exit through the front doors to stand in the parking lot, leaving your groceries in the cart and on the checkout conveyor belt. It is chilly outside and a northeast breeze cuts through the light windbreaker you grabbed, thinking it would be sufficient for the day, never imagining that you would find yourself spending any more time outside than the seconds it takes to run from your car to your house. No one says how long the drill will last. Being nothing more than a spouse, and a retired spouse at that, you have no need to know that information (from a military standpoint), so you wait. Realizing that time is running short and your original plan of the day has been foiled, you phone the preschool to inform them that you are trapped on base for an indefinite period of time and that you will, in fact, be late to retrieve your daughter from preschool. Ending that call, you begin the long vigil until the all-clear sirens emit their blaring wail, notifying all within hearing distance (and then some) that life can now return to normal. The imaginary terrorist attacked has been successfully repulsed. Hurrah!

You re-enter the commissary, pay for your groceries, pick up your daughter from preschool (not forgetting to pay the fine for late retrieval), and skip the rest of your morning errands in favor of lunch because, by now, your child is starving and you could use a chocolate fix to de-stress from such a relaxing trip to the base. :-)

Now, doesn’t that sound like the adventure of a lifetime, an adventure that any busy wife and mother would gladly select from the cornucopia of grocery shopping experiences, especially since it will save you ~$6.00/week (cost savings based on personal shopping list of blog author; results not typical and may vary)? Let me help you here --- ah, probably not.

My solution: send the husband. A grocery list is small, usually only the size of an index card. When added to the weight of his tools and backpack, it is barely noticeable. Not only that, he drives right past the commissary on his way off base. Surely, a short stop isn’t too much to ask; after all, he can use that time to unwind before he comes home. He can also hand pick those granny smith apples he likes to munch on, or that granola he adores (the really disgusting kind with only healthy stuff like dried apricots and nuts, but no chocolate chips). Sounds like a plan to me.

My challenge: convincing him this is a good idea. :-)

* For those readers who are unfamiliar with military life, the commissary is a grocery store.

The Queen Comes to America!

I wish I had known about this sooner. I would have made the effort to get to Jamestown for the festivities. I think it would be cool just to see Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, even if I had to use high-powered binoculars to do it. Buckingham Palace and the British Monarchy Media Centre have released this information about the Royal trip:

The Queen, accompanied by the Duke of Edinburgh, will visit Virginia to mark the 400th anniversary of the Jamestown settlement. Other highlights include an arrival ceremony at the White House and a visit to the Kentucky Derby.

May 3, 2007: Richmond, Virginia
Afternoon: The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh arrive at the Governor’s Mansion before undertaking a walkabout to Capitol for an arrival and greetings ceremony. The Queen makes a speech to the Virginia Assembly. Evening: Arrival in Williamsburg.

May 4, 2007: Williamsburg, Virginia
Morning: The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh arrive at the Jamestown Settlement. The Queen tours the Fort whilst The Duke of Edinburgh tours the ship SUSAN CONSTANT.

Her majesty and His Royal Highness arrive at the Jamestown archaeological site. The Queen visits the museum whilst The Duke of Edinburgh visits the vault (conservation facility).

The Royal couple view part of the original well before a tour of the dig and site. They present a gift to people of Virginia. The Queen attends a lunch at the Governor’s Palace in Williamsburg. The Duke of Edinburgh attends a lunch in Norfolk.

Afternoon: The Queen visits the College of William and Mary where she meets students and academic alumni, requests the ringing of Wren Bell and receives a class award. The Duke of Edinburgh attends a reception onboard USS WISCONSIN.

May 5, 2007: Kentucky
The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh attend the Kentucky Derby.

May 6, 2007: Washington, D.C.
Evening: The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh arrive at Andrews Air Force Base.

May 7, 2007: Washington, D.C.
Morning: The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh attend an arrival ceremony on the South Lawn of the White House. They inspect an Honour Guard and meet guests. The Queen and the President make speeches. A private lunch follows.

Afternoon: Photograph of Her Majesty and His Royal Highness with Commonwealth ambassadors. The attend a Garden Party at the Ambassador’s Residence.

Evening: State Dinner.

May 8, 2007: Washington, D.C.
Morning: The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh visit the NASA Goddard Space Flight Centre. The Queen meets staff and visits the Mission Control Centre. The Duke of Edinburgh tours the spacecraft test facilities and robotics. The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh view the ‘Science on a Sphere’ exhibition and plant a tree at the Visitor Centre.

Morning: The Queen holds an Investiture (three honorary awards) at the Ambassador’s Residence.

Afternoon: Her Majesty and His Royal Highness plant a tree at the Ambassador’s Residence before visiting the Children’s National Medical Center. The Queen visits the cardiac ward whilst The Duke of Edinburgh visits the research facility. Her Majesty and His Royal Highness meet young patients in recreational activities.

The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh visit the World War II National Memorial where they lay a wreath, meet veterans of the war in the Pacific, visit the Field of Stars, and meet GI war brides.

Evening: The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh host a return dinner at the Ambassador’s Residence, also attended by the President and Mrs. Bush. Departs Washington via Andrews Air Force Base.

If anyone out there makes the trip to the Historic Triangle to see Her Majesty, let me know by sharing your experience in the comments section for this entry. Have a great day!