Throw That Fruitcake!

Have you ever wondered what to do with that fruitcake you received from some well-meaning friend or relative last Christmas? Well, let me tell you how the folks in my hometown recycle that unwanted dessert --- they make it fly!

My hometown is unique in many ways, but this one may take the cake --- or the fruitcake, as the case may be. Every year, usually in January, to beat the winter blues, Fairmont hosts The Fabulous Fruitcake Follies, a day of festivities culminating in a fruitcake throwing competition. The point of the event is to beat cabin fever by coming out to socialize with your neighbors and cheer on the dozen or so throwing competitors.

And just how serious is this competition? Ron Gower (one of my former English professors from Minnesota State University) described it this way in an article he penned for the Mankato Free Press:

This is serious throwing, not just hand-lobbed projectiles. Throwers can use any mechanical device as long as it doesn’t use a motor or electricity, so the throwing machines range from oversize slingshots to air-powered cannon (pumped by hand) to medieval onagers and trebuchets, favored by most serious slingers.

Another rule for this confection-pitching contest? Participants must use genuine fruitcake. No frauds or pretenders allowed. Also, no additional weights are permitted to improve trajectory, although some contestants do soak their “ammunition” in water and freeze them, a natural and "legal" method of making their fruitcake heavier. This process must work because throwing distances have been known to reach as high as 680 feet. Winners actually progress to the national fruitcake throwing finals in Eureka, Kansas. Who would’ve guessed?

Not interested in lobbing fruitcake? Maybe some of the other activities would trip your trigger: a light breakfast, relay races, or the Ugly Fruitcake Decorating event. Sorry, no fruitcake eating competition. I guess the organizers offered this once, but no one volunteered. Being a fruitcake fan, I would have volunteered for such a gastronomic tournament, but I guess if you are attending an event where people choose to hurl fruitcake rather than eat it, lack of participation is understandable.

“The whole idea,” to quote organizer Dave Smith, “is to get people out to celebrate the madness of winter.” So, if you are feeling a bit crazy next January (since spring begins tomorrow), plan a trip to Minnesota for the Fabulous Fruitcake Follies, and remember to pack your trebuchet.

Photo taken by Mike Wasmund of the Mankato Free Press in Mankato, MN. Mike is a regular participant and past winner of both the local and national fruitcake throwing competitions. He holds the local throwing record, having pitched a fruitcake 684 feet with his home-crafted trebuchet.